My third full week, following on from Week 2 still being but with some doing sneaking in towards the end.
An excellent week that featured a couple of films, lunches with a couple of different people, a trip to Raystede, a late night at the Booth Museum event, a trip to the CASS Sculpture Foundation (a great way to spend an afternoon), and hot chocolate and murmuration watching on the beach. As well as a coaching session, a lot of reading and quite a bit of reflecting. A perfect mix of time alone and time with people I like to spend time with.
There were a couple of events during the week that stood out.
This week started off with Mum’s birthday. And always the strange question about do you celebrate, or how do you mark the anniversary of the birth of someone who has died? Or even how to refer to it, what tense to use?
“It is the anniversary of her birth” works
“It would have been her 83rd birthday” also works
“It would have been her birthday” or “It is her birthday”? - I think I used these interchangeably during the day.
Mum’s birthday was always celebrated growing up. Dad’s not so much. But Mum’s was always a significant event and was a family affair. So it feels wrong not to do something. The first year after she’d died I cooked spaghetti bolognese, and Richard and I watched a Pink Panther film (one of her favourites). Last year we drove to Hull and remembered her by putting some flowers in the garden where I sprinkled her ashes. This year I decided that we’d go out for an Italian meal as it’s a cuisine that is associated with plenty of memories of Mum.
It feels right to remember her in a way that is fitting and suits her and to celebrate her day. And I was very touched to get a phone call from My Aunt (my Dad’s brother’s wife) who had been thinking of Mum and me all day and thought she’d call to tell me so - that made my day.
I hadn’t planned to write any of that, but it’s there now so it might as well stay!
I went to a Meaning fringe event on Wednesday evening about How To Build a Community That People Love. It was a mistake. Not because there was anything wrong with the event, but because I’m not ready to be networking yet. I’m in downtime mode and want to remain there. I don’t have answers to the “So, what do you do?” question. I haven’t clarified the answer in the immediate term myself, so I’m not ready to answer it for anyone else. Come January when my downtime is over, then I’ll be in a position to re-start this but not now. It may have had a part in changing the end of the week into being more doing focused than being focused which feels a bit sad.